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Do you possess the strength to take down ‘wichzilla? If you can completely devour the 4.5 Lbs of Turkey, Ham, Bacon, Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato, Garlic Aioli, and Bread in under 30:03, you will win a $25 Gift Certificate, a shirt proclaiming your glorious victory, and immortalization upon the “Wall of Fame!” Fail, and hang your head (and your picture) in shame! $15 to take the challenge. Good Luck!!! (You’ll need it!)

Once upon a time, long ago there existed a vast kingdom ruled by a portly King. The size of the countryside was matched only by the King’s insatiable appetite. Throughout the years of his rule the King had employed many Royal Chefs, each of whom fell victim to lunacy brought on from numerous attempts and failures to appease the King’s gluttonous gut. Shortly after the 68th Royal Chef was committed to the insane asylum for screaming at a confused pig for being too small, a stranger dressed in all black rode into the kingdom upon a dark steed. This stranger was granted the audience of the King where he proclaimed to possess the powers to tame and defeat the King’s unending urge to eat. The King chuckled and implored the stranger to bring forth the delicious dish that could outlast his taste buds’ desires. The stranger strode away disappearing into the depths of the Royal Kitchen. Two hours later the stranger returned to the Throne Room followed by two servants struggling to balance a large, silver-topped platter. The servants placed the platter at the foot of the King’s throne and quickly stumbled away. The stranger approached and then spoke, “Good King, I present thee with a meal which will leave you full and satisfied.” The servants removed the cover to the platter revealing a massive amount of meat and cheeses neatly stacked between two large pieces of bread. The King began to salivate and quickly moved to begin devouring the culinary creation. A half hour later, the King took the last bite and drifted off to sleep, a large grin upon his face. The King never awoke from his slumber, and never stopped smiling. “Tis a beastly ‘wich that slayed the King,” said many peasants throughout the village telling the news of the King’s demise.
The Legend of ‘wichzilla continues today, transported across the sea to Oxford, Michigan. Prove yourself (and your gut) stronger than the King’s, and you will win many handsome rewards. Fail, and hang your head (and Picture!) in shame as ‘wichzilla claims another with eyes larger than their stomach!


'wichzilla: 111
Humans: 14

Jake Ladder
Lapeer, Michigan
12 minutes, 40 seconds